There Once Was a Girl

There once was a girl who was fascinated with young children, babies and the process of growing life.  Baby dolls lined her bed with a new one on her wish list every Christmas. She delighted in helping her mother take care of the little ones she took in.  You see, her mother was a great example of helping those in need by offering child care to those in a bind, no matter what the circumstance.  It wasn’t the fault of the ones in need of someone to hold them, play with them and love them.  The little girl sometimes got in trouble for putting things like a ball, a rolled up towel or a baby-doll up her shirt, pretending. She only knew that was how God grew babies.

Once when she was a little older she met a family with two teenaged children.  They were a foster family who gave a temporary home to infants waiting placement in their permanent home.  The girl was intrigued and thought one day she would do that to, after she had children “of her own” of course.  Little did she know God was putting a call on her heart that would take her on a journey she had never dreamed of.

With a life built on the expectation of motherhood the girl, now a married woman, was surprised when things didn’t happen as easily as planned.  The next few years were very emotional.  Even though she was always excited for her friends, it became difficult to hear of their families growing as she continued to wait and wonder.  Everyone tried to be encouraging.  “Don’t worry.”  “It will happen when it is supposed to happen.” “Relax, go on a vacation.” These were only a few things she heard from people trying to be supportive.  None of it helped.  Now she found herself in the roll of taking care of other people’s children as she continued to wait and wonder.

Tests were conducted and results pensively waited for to no avail.  There was no reason for the infertility-no medical reason that is.  In the girl’s heart she was confident this was God ‘s hand, but to understand the reason she would have to continue to wait and wonder.  She did an in depth study on barren women in the Bible, searching for why wombs had been opened.  The answer:  Someone cried out to God.  That was already being done but still she waited and wondered.

Late one Saturday night, or more accurately, early one Sunday morning after discovering her prayer had yet again been answered with a “No,” she fervently cried out to her God, laying her questions at his feet.  “Why give me such a strong desire if You aren’t going to fulfill it?”  “Why am I good enough to take care of other children, but not good enough for my own?”  And “If this isn’t the plan, then what am I supposed to do.” After struggling with God through the night an answer came sooner than she expected.  An answer she wasn’t quit ready to hear.

The next morning at church a man spoke, a man the girl had never met.  His name was Tom Slaughter.  He was the head of Agape of North Carolina.  He was making an appeal for people to open their hearts and homes to be foster parents.  The need was great the available homes too few.  The girl sat in her seat not moving, knowing this answered all of her questions, but saying with a laugh, “God, this is not Your answer for me.”  The next week magazines were delivered that the girl subscribed to.  Three of the four magazines had a prominent article on either foster care or adoption-the fourth was a cooking magazine.  She threw up her hands and said, “OK, God, I hear You. You can stop now.”

A few days later as they were driving, the girl asked her husband about becoming foster parents.  His first answer was No.  “Now what?” She thought, I can’t do this by myself.  He brought it up again saying he knew she didn’t bring things up without first thinking about them.  They decided to go to an information meeting and see where it led.  It took over a year, much prayer and lots of paperwork for them to be licensed as foster parents.

Soon they had a two day old beautiful baby girl to love and take care of until time for her to be placed in an adoptive home.  Her dreams of motherhood were being realized in a  totally unexpected way, but she loved it.  Four weeks later the call came, they needed to have the baby at her adoption ceremony in two days.  The next days were hard ones.  The girl held and loved the baby as much as she could, whispering prayers for her life ahead, thankful she had been able to play an important part in her first days.  After the ceremony there was an incredible peace knowing prayers had been answered.

On the way home it was the husband’s turn to ask the question, “Why aren’t we looking in to adoption.”  In the girl’s mind, adopting had always been giving up on having “her own” children.  But then he said the words, “We want to start a family, if we adopt we are starting and we can still keep trying.”  And so, he journey to motherhood began.

That girl is me and many years and children later, if you ask me what adoption means to me, you won’t get a grandiose answer.  To me, adoption is the way God chose to grow my family, and Yes, they are MY children.  Going forward it would not have been the path I chose, but looking back, I wouldn’t do it any other way.

~Lisa Kolbe

Discover more about AGAPE of NC via their website, or learn more about our partnership with them (and even donate!) here. It’s not too late to join us and AGAPE of NC in a special giving campaign, Agape’s 2nd Annual Mother’s Day Triumph!