Grace

I received a book about Grace for my birthday.   I am not sure if the giver of this gift had any idea how much in need of grace I felt.   After this many miles on the journey I am firm in the knowledge that it is grace, His grace, that paves the way for me to have joy and hope and peace. I am aware of this gift given, freely, sacrificially to me. I know that there is nothing I can do to earn it or repay it. Humbled by the knowledge I do not deserve it, that my worth or unworthiness has nothing to do with this gift poured out continually, poured out in overflowing measure ….day after day, week after week, year after year.

But sometimes in the day to day of going about life, I forget. I forget that sins don’t come in big and small, that God does not measure wrongs the way I do.   Sometimes I get comfortable and I forget to acknowledge to myself that I am a sinner. That outside of God’s grace, His forgiveness, His sacrifice, I am without hope.

But life has a way of pulling that rug out from under me and the mirror reflects back to me the sin that changes the light to dark. My weaknesses are many and I work at trying to live my life surrendered to Him, to allow His power to work in me, and His light to shine through me. But when life gets hard and I get really stressed, the enemy has a way of speaking lies all over my life and he chips away at my resolve, my confidence and my focus. Before you know it my weaknesses have become who I am, have lead me to act in ways I am ashamed of, to treat people in ways that I disdain, to speak things I know are not true, to be someone I do not even like.   When the reality hits me, I sink like a stone in a murky pond. The old tapes start playing and I can find myself spiraling downward into darkness and despair.

But then I remember Grace, I remember that Jesus died for me, that He always knew that I would not be perfect but that I would stumble and that sometimes I would fall. He promised to always be there to pick me up, to brush me off, to give me a new chance, to cover me in His blood shed for me so that I could once again be made white like snow.

Redemption, new life, another chance, hope…all because Jesus loves me. So I pick myself up, I confess my sin and I hold tight to the promises He has given and the hope he offers. And at least for the next little while I walk with more humility, more dependency, and more gratitude for this unbelievable gift….grace.

To my friend, thank you for the book, the reminder I so desperately needed that He offers me grace…and for all the grace you have offered along the way.